Breastfeeding vs. Formula, Homemade Baby Food vs. Store Bought, Cloth Diapers vs. Disposable, How Baby Should Lay, How Baby Should Play, Vaccines vs. No Vaccines, Daycare vs. Stay at Home Mom…. The Warnings go on and on. Every parent, doctor and baby expert has a zillion warnings to dump on the new mom. There is one warning however, that most leave out. In my opinion one of the most important warnings a new mom could hear…
The moment a woman finds out she is going to be a mother, the vision she holds for her life changes forever. Suddenly things she cared so much about don’t matter any more and things she thought she would never do suddenly become daily routine. Every single one of our priorities shifts to offer the very best for our baby. As mothers, we are highly praised for this selfless mentality and it becomes ingrained into our being. I love giving my children all that I can and seeing them happy and successful. While it is one of the best parts of being a mom, no one warned me that it could also hurt me and my children.
I devoted every second of my time focusing on my children and my family and trying make the perfect life. We did activities and outings. We ate the right foods and took care of ourselves. We focused on learning and schoolwork. I always read books and articles on the latest studies for children and the latest studies about being a better parent.
I felt that I was working so hard to keep my family growing and living the best life possible, but for some reason, we weren’t living the life I knew we deserved. This was so frustrating to me and I would break down in tears because I couldn’t understand why my family wasn’t as happy as they could be, or why I wasn’t that happy either.
I was given compliments from others all the time about my mothering skills…”You have such terrific kids!” “They are so polite and well mannered.” “You are such an involved parent!” “How do you do it all?” …These nice things would come out of other peoples mouths but when they reached my ears all I could think was,”Thanks, but I’m obviously not doing enough because we should be happier!”
Sadly, most Mommas feel this way. They feel as if they are working their sexy booties off for their families without seeing the fruits they know their family deserves.
I don’t want this to happen to you!!
What I was missing was the one key thing every momma needs to know, and no one warns her about! The key is…
Stop Working and Start Loving!!
Stop trying so hard to do everything perfect and simply be there to love your family!
This might seem funny right now because when you first hold your little bundle of joy, all you can think about is enjoying each moment and pouring your love all over them. As life moves forward however, hardships happen, stresses get in the way, our babies face obstacles as they grow, and we get into a mode where doting love and admiration doesn’t fit the bill anymore. We have so many complex things to think about when it comes to taking care of our children and family.
As wonderful Sexy Mommas we do our best to be everything and provide everything for our family. So much so that we’re getting in the way of being what our family really needs. We give and give and give and try and try until we can’t see straight anymore. Part of this I believe is because we are Strong, Sexy, and Resilliant Women. The other part I believe comes from the fact that our culture has made us believe that if a mother does anything that is not completely self-less and in favor of her children, then she’s a bad mom.
The truth however, is that when all we do is give and give, we wind up with two BIG Problems:
1. We’re trying too hard! Anytime we try too hard at something, it always back fires. It back fires because we are getting in the way of the process. Instead of letting things happen, we are trying to control and manipulate the results. Yes, we want our children to be perfect, smart and beautiful little human beings! Of course! But sometimes this desire gets in the way of us seeing that our child is perfect, smart and beautiful right now! Or that this moment that we are sharing with them is perfect, right now! Or that who we are and what we can give right now is perfect, just as it is!
So stop trying so hard! Focus on being what your family needs only in that moment and stop worrying about everything else. If you are present, and you allow your children to be present, everything else will fall into place.
2.We don’t have anything left! Is there anything that you wouldn’t share with your child? Mommas share their bodies to house growing organisms, they share their comfy beds for restless dreamers, they share countless drinks and snacks with watering mouths, and many, many other things. With all of this giving going on, it’s no wonder that us Sexy Mommas develop a mentality that everything that is ours, really isn’t ours at all. We start to think that it all belongs to our kids!
THIS IS SO BAD!!!
I’m all about sharing with my children but if Momma doesn’t have anything for herself, she’s going to run out of magic eventually! There’s no worse feeling than not being able to give our best when our kids need us. If we are constantly giving and giving without taking personal time to re-energize, we’ll be one dead battery!
So take time for yourself! Rest, replenish and refill your soul. You can’t guide your family anywhere on an empty tank, or without the proper maintenance. Fill your tank with everything you need and fine-tune your vehicle for a long and happy journey. Your children(and significant other) will thank you for it!
The bottom line is, don’t lose yourself in your new found joy! There is nothing more amazing than being a mother. It will bring you more joy than you have ever know. Enjoy it, relish it, just don’t get lost in it! Being a momma is only ONE part of your life(granted a huge part). To be the best momma you can possibly be, you have to be a strong woman who takes care of herself and flourishes in all aspects of her life.
You will be setting the most important example ever for your children, the only way to be successful is to always take care of number one!
Sexy Momma Love and Hugs,
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