We all know them. We’ve all been a part of them or maybe you’re still involved in one…unhealthy draining relationships. Relationships that continuously ask us to give more and more of ourselves without offering much in return. Relationships that interrupt our daily lives. The individuals on the other side of these relationships are ones that are self serving and often make us cringe when we see their name on the caller ID. How do we get involved in unhealthy relationships? How do these relationships affect our success?
There are many reasons for which we get involved in unhealthy relationships. The hardest is when it is a family connection, we feel that there is an obligation attached. Certain types of personalities tend to get caught in these relationships(this is very true for me). The type of personalities that try to please everyone and make everyone happy. Also the ‘fixer’ type personality that wants to fix and help these people when they continuously have drama in their lives. While being a compassionate giving person is a great quality. It can be to a fault when we are sucked in by others who take advantage of that compassion.
For individuals continuously finding themselves in these relationships(which is also true for me), there is a direct correlation with the relationship you have with yourself. These unhealthy relationships are simply mirroring how you perceive yourself. If you don’t value yourself, your qualities, abilities or whatever you have to offer, then why would you stand up to someone else who thought the same? THIS IS KEY. If you are finding that you are in many of these types of relationships, it’s time to look inward and evaluate your relationship with yourself. Do you treat yourself with respect? Do you tend to your wants and needs on a regular basis? Are you honest with yourself? All these things must be in place for you to attract strong and healthy relationships. When you are centered and respect yourself, it will command others to do the same.
It is unhealthy relationships that are poison to success. They do nothing but hold back an individual from reaching their full potential. They drain time and energy. They promote negative thinking and feelings. In order to free your spirit and be open to success, unhealthy relationships cannot be present.
I was once given a tough but important challenge by a teacher of mine. He called it the phone book challenge. The instructions were to go through the phone book in my cell phone person by person. When I reached a person that made me cringe each time they called, I had to delete them. Some were easier than others to delete. But it really made me look at all of the relationships in my life and I was able to see which ones were uplifting and which ones were pulling me down.
Am I telling you to ditch all of the people in your life that bring you down? Not exactly. I fully understand that some relationships don’t allow that, especially those with parents or siblings. But some do need to be dropped. Others evaluated and changed. Maybe you just need to cut ties for a few weeks or months so you can focus on a project you’re working on. Most importantly, once you are free to move forward and start achieving success, it will be obvious who will stick by you with support and who will pull back.
Take time to look at all of your relationships today. Do the ‘Phone Book Challenge’. Maybe you’re in a relationship right now and are not aware of how draining it is on you. Start thinking about yourself and putting your needs first. Success does not come from putting yourself second. You can never fully achieve anything if you are not centered and do not feel whole. Life is too short, free yourself of unhealthy bonds.
Believe in Your Success! I Believe in You!
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